Family Ties: Exploring Father Daughter Relationships Her father, Reb Shlomo Carlebach "dragged" a youthful Neshama on stage to
perform at one of his concerts. "I felt I loved him very much, but this was
not my calling. That I'd rather be singing 'Memory' from 'Cats' [than religious
songs]," she says.
But after two years of acting school, Carlebach dropped out. She had decided to follow the dream of her father, nicknamed "the singing rabbi."
Because of a hectic performing and teaching schedule, Reb Carlebach often wasn't home. "But my father was very much a presence in my life," she says. "He called maybe nine times a day. When he came home, it was a big celebration."
Even when she resented his absences, Carlebach honored his mission. "It's rare to find someone with such a sense of purpose. He was always late, because he was serving people, 24 hours a day. Yet, he always had time for me and my sister."
Carlebach says her friends were jealous of her closeness to him. "Maybe
he tried harder at it," she says. "My father studied Talmud with my sister
every night on the phone. I would talk to him every day for two hours."
Carlebach was only 19 when her father died. She was going through intense
mourning when her father's manager asked her to give a concert. "When I sang,
it was as if my father had gone into my vocal chords," Carlebach recalls.
"I gained two octaves. My voice was completely different. I felt him strongly.
My father never said he was preparing me for this mission, but he worked his
whole life for me to take over."
She wasn't prepared for hostile audiences. Carlebach has been verbally attacked
by those opposed religiously to women singing in public. "It hurt when people
said I was shaming my father. He encouraged me to do what I am doing. I feel
there are so many halachot (laws) to focus on. Kol isha (voice
of women) is not the crux of being a Jew. My father said embarrassing people
is worse."
Neshama Carlebach Assuming the Mantle of her Talented Father
Jewish Woman Magazine, Summer '99
Neshama Carlebach, 24, was a born performer. " I really wanted to be a Broadway actress," she says. "My father was very supportive of that."
-Barbara Trainin Blank
Daughter
of Soul
"I'm not trying to outdo him," said Ms. Carlebach, 23, during a recent phone interview with the Baltimore Jewish Times. "My theory is that I really don't think he should have died yet."
Two weeks before her father's death, Ms. Carlebach and Reb Shlomo - as he
was known by his followers - had just finished recording "Ha Neshama Shel
Shlomo," a play on words meaning "The Soul of Shlomo" that also refers to
Ms. Carlebach. Unfortunately, the compact disc was tied up in litigation for
two years and was not released until late 1997, after Ms. Carlebach reworked
all of her vocals.
The CD, which was released by the New York-based SISU Music, features 14 tracks, including three solos by Reb Shlomo, three by Ms. Carlebach, seven songs on which they harmonize, and a blessing.
Ms. Carlebach's singing career took flight only after her father's death, when Reb Shlomo's manager approached her about completing his tour schedule.
"It's such a miracle that I did, because it helped me with my healing," says Ms. Carlebach, one of the rabbi's two daughters. "A week after my father left the world, I was in a really bad place. I opened my mouth to sing, and I felt like a voice entered me. I really feel like my father had put something in me. I've never been the same since."
Next month Ms. Carlebach, a liberal arts major at Toronto's York University, will perform a whole new repertoire during her almost-weekly concerts. When she is not planning her future career in education, going to classes, or performing live, Ms. Carlebach spends her free time researching her father's music. Rabbi Carlebach composed more than 5,000 songs, many of which are unrecorded.
"I am always looking for new songs that he recorded a long time ago or never recorded," she said. "I have my hands on a lot of them."
Ms. Carlebach is now working on the pre-production of a CD due out next year. The CD will combine her father's traditional Hebrew songs with some English translations.
"I have deep dreams about it," she said. "Maybe those who don't connect
to my father's music can feel the joy if I sing in English."
As for crossing over into the secular world, Ms. Carlebach said, "I think
everyone is looking for something holy even if they don't call it God. They
just want to feel good. That's the meaning of music." Ms. Carlebach said she
often feels her father's aura with her, and "I have crazy, vivid dreams where
I know he's there."
Reb Shlomo, who was spiritual leader of New York's Congregation Kehilath
Jacob, also known as the Carlebach Shul, believed that every Jew needed to
discover his or her own level of Judaism. He felt that "if we could all just
dance and sing together there wouldn't be any problems," Ms. Carlebach said.
"My father crossed all boundaries, and that's why people loved him so much."
Ms. Carlebach said she is working toward similar goals: "I want to make a difference to people who feel like they shouldn't be Jewish because it's not cool enough. I'm more accessible to the younger generation."
Ms. Carlebach credits her intense spirituality with her ability to perform.
"Without God, I would've fallen apart a long time ago," she said. "My father
used to say, 'The only way you can see sometimes is to close your eyes.' I
tell people you've got to look with your eyes closed."
Among the secular artists Ms. Carlebach admires are Celine Dion, The Dave Matthew's Band, Santana, and Joni Mitchell.
"I think about [Joni Mitchell's] songs all the time," she said. "She went
to one of my father's concerts, started crying and asked, 'Who is this man.'"
Ms. Carlebach said she feels that man near her "24 hours a day.
Either I'm teaching people the truth or I have a really good imagination.
I don't know, but it comforts me."
Jewish Woman Magazine, Summer '99
Neshama Carlebach doesn't look much like her late father, nor does she sound like him. But like Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, the world renown Jewish singer and storyteller who died in 1994, she strives to nurture and stir the soul, which happens to be the translation of her Hebrew name.
-Amanda Krotki
True
to Her Name, Neshama Carlebach Keeps
Not even his sudden death almost four years ago, which devastated much of the Jewish world, has stilled his voice. At weddings and over Shabbat tables, Jews continue to sing his songs and hum his haunting niggunim (melodies).
The foremost bearer of the Carlebach torch has been his daughter Neshama ("soul" in Hebrew), who sang with her father for the last five years of his life.
Neshama Carlebach will be performing in Milwaukee for the first time on Saturday, Jan. 30, 8 p.m. at Congregation Beth Israel.
"I think the reason I was born was to carry on his work this way and continue where he left off," said Neshama in an interview from New York, just hours after returning from a concert tour in Israel.
She is a classically trained musician, who began lessons with a private singing coach when she was 13. At 15, she performed with her father for the first time.
Neshama, now 24, said her father always encouraged her singing, including her in his shows, even though she felt that she was intruding.
"When I think back," she said, "I realize that he was prodding me and preparing me to take his place." It was only after his death that she began performing on her own. "He died very suddenly," she recalled. "And he had all these concerts booked. People asked 'Would his daughter do it?' and I said yes before I thought about it."
Healing Heartache
In the beginning, she said, she was nervous and would cry through the shows. But it proved to be a healing experience for her. Her first solo CD, "Neshama," contains 11 of her father's songs.
"I know that his songs are so heavenly, so full of power, it takes over and takes people beyond the boundaries they put around themselves. Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, male, female - the music breaks all of this down."
Before her father died, the two of them recorded an album together. But immediately after his death, she said, " he technician from the studio stole the master. We were in litigation for two years to get it back."
The CD was released on the third anniversary of Shlomo's death. For Neshama, the long-delayed release brought change.
"I opened a new door. I started writing my own songs, and I'll perform some of them in Milwaukee." She described her songwriting efforts as "ripping out part of your soul and wrapping it on a piece of paper." Then came the final exposure - performing them. "I was nervous - how would they accept me? Thank G-d, it's been wonderful."
While Shlomo's songs are in Hebrew - bits of scripture set to his unique music - Neshama's are in English. She feels that this will allow her to reach a larger audience. "I am not abandoning his work. I feel the whole world will see the light that my father brought. I just want to continue his work."
Her own music, she said, has been influenced by the performers she has worked with. For the past two and a half years, she has performed with jazz master David Morgan, who will be with her in Milwaukee.
Neshama said, "I will always sing my father's songs. But you have to build
your own teaching. I think my father would be proud."
Her Father's Soul and Music Alive
Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle, 1/15/99
Few rabbis in this century touched more souls than the traveling troubadour, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. Whether in San Francisco's House of Love and Prayer, Israel's Moshav Me'or Modi'im or a tiny apartment in Jerusalem, young Jews - many previously unmoved by Judaism - flocked to here Shlomo's songs and stories.
-Nadine Bonner
Neshama's
Soul Shines
For the five years previous to her father's death, Neshama had the opportunity to begin singing with her father. Although he is no longer in this world, his spirit continues to thrive through his daughter, who has committed herself to spreading her father's joy and his universal message of love, through her own unique brand of Tiddishkeit, accompanied by a powerful voice and an incredible sense of neshama, or soul.
It has been a long, wrenching journey for Mesham, who could not find peace within herself after her father's passing. "For two years I was in a coma," she explains. "I couldn't even think - I couldn't function." Her latest CD, Ha Neshama Shel Shlomo, was released on the third anniversary of her father's death. The release of the CD and subsequent ensuing acclaim for the heartfelt harmonies between father and daughter recorded just two weeks before Shlomo's passing, has represented the end of a chapter of sorts for Neshama. "I have come full circle," she says, "I can't cry any more. I am ready to spread the joy now, and I feel as though I can accomplish this with the younger generations, the ones who are open to receiving what I can give them."
While sitting shiva, Neshama was abruptly faced with the decision of what to do with the concert dates booked in her father's name. From that moment she decided to keep the dates, and perform her father's songs herself, Neshama has realized her own purpose: To give to others the teachings which she has been so fortunate to receive in her lifetime so far. Ever since, Neshama has been determined to reach out and connect to the Jewish community through her father's music, joy, as well as through the art of skillful story telling.
Watching Neshama in action, it is clear at times the extent to which she has allowed her soul to be bared, while sharing the most bittersweet, sometimes painful, beautiful and inspirational memories and anecdotes in an effort to pass on an oral history. "There is so much history that exists outside of our books, outside of the Torah, that can be passed on only through word of mouth. It's through the sharing, through the telling that the individuals in the stories that I tell will be remembered," she explains. "It's a way to spread Yiddishkeit, and its a way to share what I know, what I've heard, how I've grown, what I've learned, so that these stories can be passed on to others who will use them for their own growth."
Carlebach's demeanor is so calm, and so peaceful, that is apparent the extent to which she has grown throughout her continual cathartic process of healing through sharing. Neshama has truly forged her own identity. Not only is she carrying on the message of Shlomo, but she is living it. The message is a universal one of love, understanding, compassion, joy, prayer, and Torah. Neshama is carrying on the legacy of her father, and is growing, learning and extending herself spiritually in the process.
Here are excerpts from my interview with Neshama:
How do you feel yourself building upon, adding to , your father's message? In other words, how have you taken his teachings and made them your own?
My father's message is such a universal one, of love and peace, sharing
and unity. He lived his life by these things but their message isn't strictly
his own. In this way I can learn from his life and apply his teachings to
my own, so that I can pass on my own version of his universal teachings. In
some ways, its such a struggle. His work is so vast. But now I'm singing Joni
Mitchell, I'm singing Seth Glass (band member and composer), and I'm trying
to translate some of my father's songs into English in order to make them
more accessible.
Do you have plans to write and perform your own songs, songs that exist outside of your father's legacy?
Yes, I'm starting to write my own songs. I haven't performed them yet
though-I'm waiting to perform one for the first time on my father's yartzheit,
which is coming up this weekend in New York.
How do you respond to your detractors that songs-even religious ones-should not be sung by a woman (kol isha) in the presence of mixed company?
I respect those individuals who follow the kol isha halacha, but the
respect has to be mutual. When I was 17, my father announced at one of his
concerts that I was about to sing, and asked all those who followed kol isha
to leave and come back when I was finished singing. Some people got up and
left, but when I began to sing, a whole group of men got up and began pelting
me with things. Where is G-d in that? If you don't like my work, then please
don't come. But I cannot respect those individuals who stay to hear me perform,
and then yell at me. There's beauty and clarity in the Torah, if you know
how to find it.
I read once a quote from your mother, in which she said that the only complete heart is the heart that's broken into pieces. Do you agree?
After your heart is broken, you realize you have a heart. Experience
makes you feel things more deeply. At times when you are too broken, things
are so difficult that you can no longer feel, and you are unable to see your
own brokenness, you may be lost for a while. When you are able to see your
brokenness, and you are ready to put yourself back together again, then you
realize you can move on.
What characterizes a successful show for you?
Every show is successful, to me. The really successful ones are the ones
where I can connect to the music so intensely that I forget that I'm performing.
When the sound is good, and I can connect with my band, I can just close my
eyes and forget...it's like a whirlwind of connection.
Are there typical Shlomo Carlebach/Neshama Carlebach fans?
Not at all! My father's followers are so diverse..they range from young
to old, hippie to orthodox. He was very open to everybody, so everyone was
attracted to him.
In late October there was a large rally on behalf of unity, tolerance and understanding at Rabin Square that you were a part of. Can you describe what that was like for you and how you think it accomplished its goals?
I pray for unity, though I know its something that won't happen today.
Let's say just 3 people made peace because of it...that's an accomplishment.
Its important to try and bridge the gap between the religious and non-religious
, and a great way to try and do that is through music. Inside we are all the
same...we all have goals, dreams, feelings. Singing opens up the gates of
heaven for us.
From where do you draw your kavanah, your spirit, your strength to perform?
People lose things every day...little things, big things, a parent, a
friend...the real challenge of life is to try and find joyous moments. Every
day we may have only 5 moments of joy-we must focus and really feel those
moments when they come. Teaching, passing on a message, learning, growing
through experience, music as prayer, music as joy. Enough talking, let's dance!
Afterword, Nov/Dec '98
Standing in the midst of an almost barren stage, Neshama Carlebach's powerful presence opens its arms widely, and envelopes her captivated audience in a warm embrace. It is now nearly four years since the death of Neshama's father, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, a famed folk singer and spiritual leader who wrote 5000 songs, many of which are sung in synagogues throughout the world. "My father helped to revive the Jewish community with his songs. Now everyone knows them, everyone sings them, but not everyone realizes where they came from. The songs that my father wrote are sung with a familiarity, as if they came from a tradition of hundreds of years ago," Carlebach laments.
-Sarah Zelcer
© Ariel Publicity and Neshama Carlebach